The many surprises of the day

I tried so hard to go to the Metropolitan Museum in the morning with company,  but it did not have much result.  When I finally got on to the idea of going alone I stepped out side and found the sun-shining and I was over dressed,  (wearing my ski pants...)  So I only got one block when I decided I should change  into something more comfortable.  And so my adventure begins.  I went back changed into the perfect pair of miss sixty jeans construction worker fit for me.  Turtle nexk and Brownfeld Auto Service Ski Cap.  MB was awake when I got back and we  decided to go to the Flea Market on Meeker.  As she got ready I worked on my  monologue for SCK.  When I turned and looked a a big lump under my bed sheets,  thinking it's a pillow I press it lightly but firmly,  and realize it's my cat, Lexington Kentucky Bourbon...  Hiding under my sheets.  Ok I love animals I love my kitty,  I have a no pets on the bed rule.  No pets on dinner tables or Kitchen counters.  It's just one of those basic live with me rules.  So to find LKB hiding under all my sheets and my bed still neatly made, I gasped in shock "Usted que esta haciedo aqui" grite.  MB also witness LKB's very sly move,  We lifted the covers and she didn't move,  As if to say if I stay really still I will be invisible and I can sleep here....  Well, I gently told her no kitties on the bed.  She got up and moved to her little own bed with personal blanket given to her by aunt MB That was once her blanket.  I will never forget the look on LKB  under the covers.

We went to the flea market and found these amazing set of personal teapots The Flea market was full of old chairs and one giant wooden desk,  the desk of a once very important person,  because the size of your desk in the past was a sign of importance and knowledge,  but now I think it's the lightness of your load,  meaning can travel with all electrical equipment to accomplish any task in your field.  How the times change and generations of the future will mostly view that big desk as impractical and cumbersome, But it was romantic,  and I could see the pages of hand written information of love notes, or novels, or secrets that were written over that desk.  That desk hopefully never had a computer on it....  At least not a desk top.  That desk probably would not make it into my hall way.  Before the desk lucky we had already found an object perfect for the 2 of us that brought us immense amount of joy, expressed in giggles.  The colorful set of personal teapots!!!

In las pequeñas aventuras de florkitty,  We decided to go to

Love Quote

The human heart, at whatever age, opens to the heart that opens in return.
~ Maria Edgeworth

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Crisis, Faith, Death

So far the month of February we have seen 2 devastating earthquakes,  and waited for a Tsunami...  I was at the restaurant last night when I saw a man talking to whom I believe was his son.  They had written on the table crisis, faith, death...  We all have crisis from personal to universal.   The world is in crisis now with the wars and natural disasters...  My prayers have been going out to all these people at night.  When I compare my own little crisis of the heart I feel selfish and indulgent,  nonetheless these are  my feelings and I must heal from my broken heart.  My theory started on crisis because when my relationship feel apart I went into crisis mode JAJA a lot of good that did only bad decision after bad decision.  But now I am in faith,  I grew up Catholic and I still follow a lot of the holiday tendencies that my parents shared with me as a child.  Lent happened right after the last time I was intimate with JG,  this was a bad decision even though at the time it felt great,  the out come was detrimental both physically and emotionally.

So I was wondering what to give up for lent,  JG, & just going out on dates with men who want to be with me...  That was my choice.  Since I have been single they come out of nowhere,  at first it was flattering to feel desired,  but now it's just confusing and I have this tendency of comparing everyone to JG.  NOT good!  So for Lent I have given up social outings with Men.  Hoping that this will help me find clarity in myself.  But as I do this I have been feeling, that I should go further.  So I have taken a vow of Celibacy,  for 3 months to start.  I need to re-establish my self worth!  And the last time I was intimate was amazing especially if you love the person,  but if it turns out to have been a joke,  the emotion spiral is very painful.  So I have realized I need to do this!  I need to find myself all by myself.

I have been sexual since I was a teen, and looking back at my track record I have never been alone since.   Jumping, from one relationship to the next, with only a few months in between.  I am open to sexuality and understand the brain aspects of getting off,  so why be intimate with emotionally detrimental results?  I am 32 and by now I should know better!  My goal is one year starting Feb7/2010.  Let's see how far I go...  In my mind there is only one person who can change that.  Me! It will all come down to respect and worthiness!  So 3 months at a time...

Which brings me to the last word written on the chalk table - Death,  it's inevitable,  so let's make a difference!  I feel mortal and I want to leave a mark, a good memory, a good life.

Love Quote

Love is life.  All, everything that I understand, I understand only because I love.
~ Leo Tolstoy

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GROW. Evolve. Change. BE "On to the NEXT one." ~Jay-Z

Abiola Abrams, a great friend of my mine, posted that quote today.  I love it! Grow Evolve Change!!! - on it,  as for the next one,  I found her I must move on to ME!!!  Right now thats the best place to be.

Off to another evening, at the Olive Tree Cafe & Comedy Cellar.  Good people, Good food,  Great laughs.  

Snowstorm day2!!!

I miss you!!!  I miss you more  when it snows.  Work was slow today I got to go home early.  Lexington is in shock, she is very talkative.  Her raspy meow is on the I've been there, done that tone of voice.  I have 2 goals for tonight before bed: SCK & ISSA.  I have found myself eating a lot of chocolate lately...  Normally I would say I don't have a sweet tooth,  But there is nothing better than a large glass of cold milk and a pure piece of dark chocolate.  My home has quickly grown into a Sanctuary.  Even though my thoughts wonder, I have found it easier everyday to simplify, stay positive and productive.  My father called me this morning to make sure I was careful because a man died today, from a tree branch falling on him in the park.  I thought to myself what a way to go how strange one minute in the park.  And what a lovely way to wake up I believe the call was around 8am....

Love Quote

Love without reason lasts the longest.
~ Author unknown

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GODDESS prints

I made 25 prints during the Holidays.  Special very special. 

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POP!!! MONDAY 3/15/2010!!!

Love Quote

That which is love is always beautiful.
~ Norwegian Proverb

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Lauri Panopoulos

I attended the opening reception of JUST OFF at SLOAN FINE ART, last night.  It was so full when I arrived, that I must go back today and view the works again.  There is one piece in particular that will be in my heart forever!!!  And if the Universe wishes...  One day in my home.  She was the first object I saw,  and throughout the night I wondered back to her several times.  The artist Lauri Panopoulos, I have worked with her in the past at NYAA.  We shared a few stories, but I had not seen much of her work since...  The Bride of Gold and Money.  She is, to me another Goddess!    The way she stands,  Her Boots!!!  The rose!  She makes me wonder is this pleasure or duty?  Practical or Tactful 

What do my shoes say?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LENA!!!

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Love Quote

Human love is often but the encounter of two weaknesses.
~ Francois Mauriac

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Art by Kylie Manning tittle laughy taffy

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HANA FOOD

Really, I went in to buy my duchebag sandwich, when I found another name...  who is naming this?  A drunk sandwich maker at 4 am....

I know your Latino, because your using the upside down question mark to start the sentence.  One clue closer to figuring this out.
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"Your actions speak so loudly that I cannot hear what you say." Ralph Waldo Emmerson

Work in progress by Michael Meadors

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I see you everywhere

Hanuman...

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My greatest days are ahead of me!

No matter what you do somebody will find a way to find something wrong with what your doing... Find my spirit, I will make mistakes along the way , but I can't really worry about that. I do to the best of my ability , do my best to get better as a woman as a friend as a spiritual being. As a child I was told I could not be an artist I could not consider that a life.... I fought and fought and fought, rebelled against that idea by being as bad as I could... Now I realize I am an artist. I can be pure and true to my abilities, I can balance the dirty girl and the spiritual seeker. I am full of respect for myself in a new light, my body and mind I need to try to be more spiritual. I have changed! God is good!

Gawker Recommendation: You Had to Smoke in the Club, Didn't You?

La Mandarina has sent you a link to a post on Gawker:

Title: You Had to Smoke in the Club, Didn't You?
Link: http://gawker.com/5458198/you-had-to-smoke-in-the-club-didnt-you

La Mandarina says: Internet Tabloid...hahaha

Just another monday....

Feeling the daylight in my room wakes me up with a smile.  I had a wonderful productive weekend,  hope to be hearing some good news pertaining to work.....   My mornings have become a delightful peaceful ritual to get the day started,  with focus prayer/meditations,  a check list and a positive attitude.  Dr. Conrad suggested I wake up every morning and fill up a glass of water half way, then I say to the world my glass is half full.  I have been doing this for one week now.  I find this to bring a feeling of joy such a simple act, yet so profound a vibration.

I met someone very interesting yesterday...  at the ugly sweater party,  she spoke to me about God and life and positive words.  I hope to hear from you soon.

Tall, strong, confident, practical

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Love Quote

A true lover always feels in debt to the one he loves.
~ Ralph W. Sockman

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Mixed emotions

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Love Quote

It's easy to fall in love.  The hard part is finding someone to catch you.
~ Ashley M.

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Another shoe, another day, walking strong

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Choices...

Today it was hard to motivate, into a productive mood.  So I chose to create a space that was different.  I tried to study, but found distractions,  I tried to write, but felt nothing,  I tried to read but drifted.  I dropped off my laundry; to have an action that included completion.  That's when I felt it.  I needed to change my room...  It had to be done immediately....  I know this sounds like a mission!!!  It was so simple,  and so good!  I created a space for study and a space for relaxation.  When you live in NYC you find ways to make small spaces significant.  The other night was so strange, that I can't stop imagining you on the floor....   Now my floor is different and once  again the image is gone....  NO questions no answers,  only undying support,  I will always be there if I am nearby...  but honestly grow up!

Quote of the day!

There is NO END.  There is NO BEGINNING.  There is ONLY the INFINITE PASSION OF LIFE. - Federico Fellini

What do my shoes say today?

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Love Quote

To love is to place our happiness in the happiness of another.
~ Gottfried Wilhelm Von Leibniz

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Random Thoughts...

We live like twenty year olds...
es que me parecce muy cute...
Somos Princesas...

*** music - live, love laugh....  
dreams....
dates wrapped in bacon
dates wrapped in bacon

day3.
respect my own creation!
it eleven o'clock

D******d
Dyke
Happy soup

smart beautiful talent. Passed away on Jan 22 @ age 80.  
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Love Quote

The magic of first love is our ignorance that it can ever end.
~ Benjamin Disraeli

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Curious Burlesque

Anti Valentine's routine #1,  There was a lot of excitement to be back performing @ Curious Burlesque.  This is my 6th routine.  All I need now is better video of them…  all this shall happen in time.  This # was inspired by R.S.  I will never forget the first time I saw these shoes!  Possibly 5 years ago…  Since then they have been in photo shoots,  on my hands to portray a horse in Michael Allen's Draw-a-thon theater, in bed, and finally in the number I had been dreaming about for years!


Not in these Shoes!!! - link 


My second # D******d was inspired by J.G. ,  closure on false expectations has happened.  After the strange unexpected reaction to my appearance at the BABY BROTHER show.  The volatile nature of your personality, has brought this question to my head.  I wished things were different but they are not,  and the fact is if you have no desire to be positive, stay the *@%#$^&* away from me.  After all this is your wish.


D******d - link


See you next month the 2nd Sunday of the month at Piano's Bar!!!!

Love Quote

The holiest of holidays are those kept by ourselves in silence and apart; the secret anniversaries of the heart.
~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

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Year of the TIGER!!!

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Love Quote

Any time that is spent on love is not wasted.
~ Tarquato Tasso

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Curious

Curious
Burlesque & Dance Party

ANTI VALENTINE'S DAY EDITION

Sunday
February 14th

Piano’s
Downstairs
Back Room
158 Ludlow St.
nyc

21+ with ID
free admission

—————————————————————

Every second Sunday of the month, at Piano’s, resident performer Mademoiselle Lena of False Aristocracy, curates a night of Curious burlesque and variety, in two acts [ @ 11pm + 1am ].

The dance party continues throughout the night, from 10pm to 4am, to music provided by Mike Dextro of False Aristocracy.

This New Orleans styled event integrates live burlesque shows with a dance party, and while the themes for each night will differ, the general aesthetic will remain the same. Naughty contests, various debauchery and comedic improv by the MC lasts all night.

—————————————————————

Feb 14th
ANTI V - DAY
performances by ::

Rosabelle Selavy

Liliana [ Goddess of Transformantion ]

Mademoiselle Lena [ False Aristocracy // {ETHER} ]



Mistress of Ceremonies
& pick up ::

Purple Kitten



:: Music by ::

Mike Dextro in the back room, beauty

Bridget Marie aka Shaka23 will be playing in the front

Quote

It's not because things are difficult that we do not dare, it's because we do not dare that they are difficult. - Seneca

Does this make me look phat?

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Love Quote

I humbly pray to heaven above that I love the man I marry.
~ Rose Pastor Stokes

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I saw this quote earlier today, remembered watching the movie; Like Water for Chocolate, In a time when people prayed for this, it was because they were being married by the choice of others. So now it's 2010, and what makes a good marriage is still LOVE, Loyalty, Support (emotional & economical), & Sex.
I(am) madly in love, but I didn't feel that this was enough to continue toward the path of Marriage and bringing two families together, that both have faithful devoted marriages. I made a drastic decision a few months back going with my gut, the inability to truly speak what I was feeling, and the fact that I could not stand on my own two feet. I was feeling lost, and about to plan a wedding. I panicked, tried my best to explain and may have lost the most special love I have felt. I took a chance to better myself as a woman before, I become Wife or Mother. I feel the two of us needed, this we offered each other unconditional physical love, our minds very equal but for reasons (known to us), we began to have a gap of silence and fear grow inside. Covered in presure and presentation. We stopped helping each other we just watched as the other moved. At night holding on tight taking deep breaths to try and stay latched on to each other, but not speaking.....

I know I made the right choice for us (me), let's see what the universe decides...
Another great quote If you love someone set them free if they come back they love was always yours... I may not have it exact but I believe

Act like a lady think like a man.......

Park closes @

Lovely snow day,  everything went well with Dr. Conrad, I am very relaxed and and feel assertive.  Her office is in the east side right by the park,  I walked and walked right in the center of the park crossing  east to west.  I felt like I was  walking on a happy cloud there were dogs and children and parents,  and singles and lovers and tourists,  snow men, angels, fying snowballs sleding.  My new most favorite image of NYC!  Birthcontrol in my bag, condoms in my pocket, a healthy body, and the freedom of mind to stop worring myself silly,

Oh now I have to take LKB to the vet.  It's her turn.

Healthy thoughts

There is a huge snowstorm today, I made it home last night before it began to snow hard.  I wanted to search online for information on ovarian cysts, but unfortunately I had to deal with the Viagra spam attacking my beautiful blog... Google sent me to macscan my computer went through every file deleting cookies, Ans searching for spyware. I hope that after 24hrs of this my computer is free of these disgusting posts. Here I am worried about my ovaries and promoting Viagra really universe you, know how to play a joke.  So now I am at Dr Conrad's office, and she is delayed due to the snow.  the wooden floor is covered in anti slip brown carpeting.  the secretaries And other doctors are having a meeting about billing billing billing I look at the walls for comfort and see all these equestrian paintings.  which made me think of the viagra, well its my turn positive thoughts 

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Left ovarian cyst

Well now that I know why my body was speaking to me. I can reseach what's next. What a day I walked down central park and felt safe knowing what's really happening inside. My next steps are to know as much as possible about this, maybe its normal maybe I need more medical assistance, all I know is it wasn't my mind. Tonight the internet will be of great service as I look for knowledge. Tomorrow I will meet with Dr. Patrica Conrad the best obgyn I have had since my first visit to one 15 years ago. Again ladies it's important to feel comfortable with this type of doctor. Be open and ask all the questions you need to, in order to understand and care for yourself!

Pelvic sonogram.....

I am a ball of nerves, I arrived early at East River Medical imaging, P.C. this winter has been cold and I'm not sure if its my body or my heart that is making me aware of my ovaries.... After my terribly sad miscarriage on August 29, 2008, I lost a part of my sexuality, I lost my left falopian tube. The fear of this happening again, even though I am not actively with partner has me sitting in this office with tears rolling down my eyes. At 32 with no insurance, my clock ticking, a love for JG that continues strong, and a career as a performance artist. A woman who wants it all, this is not always possible. my point is never give up. And ladies we have innies, we must get checked! safe sex! know your body. The universe supports me

M  is for Me
MILAGRO
MANDARINA
MOCOSA-METIDA
MIMADA
MUÑECA-MANTENIDA
MAMADA
MARIJUANRERA-MENTIROSA
MARICONA-MASTURBADORA
MALICIA
MALDITA-MASOQUISTA
MALPARIDA-MILONGUERA
MODELO-MANDONA-MADONA
MUSA-MATRIARCA
MAESTRA-MENSAJERA
MARAVILLA-MORENA
MADRE
MAMACITA
MARTIR
MALENA
MUJER




LA MULTIFACETICA,  through out the years I have connected to each of these words...  I started with 4 Mandarina, Malicia, Malena, Mujer.  As the my little sketch book filled up with more words I began to only use the letter M.  This is for a pesonal painting project. Will post pic when done.

Mmmmmmm

Pensive... evening

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strange posting

Strange Postings,  This morning  there was 2 postings on this blog that I did not post.  About computer equipment and pricing....  It's time I take betsy in for a checkup.  I love my little Mac...  may she stay with us (me, myself, and I; the corporation in my head)  to chronicle our adventures.

Yesterday's emotional battle was overcome when I started to rehearse my burlesque numbers for Valentine's @ Piano Bar!!!!   Then I went over to my favorite little bar, Huckleberry to meet L.K.M we had some wine.  And from thereon the night took it's own course....  I woke up this morning with a smile on my face and breathing  "Life is made of moments, these moments are what make you whom you are."

I am sitting at this keyboard and so many thoughts are going through my head but I am not ready to write them or fully speak them....   yet I sit here trying to understand that moment.

Photo Christoph Wilhelm

Cat in a box

When I feel blue I look at Lexington Kentucky Bourbon,and how happy she is in the BeBe box that Noelle sent me.  LKB is so content, my emotional state today is challenging I am going to work on my burlesque # for Valentine's day and channel this energy into something positive! 

live love laugh sent from my touch

Devohn Walker

On my way to the Olive Tree cafe & Comedy Cellar yesterday,  a young man caught my eye.  I approached in awe of the retro style he was working!  The fearlessness of a young adventurer in NYC. He titled himself "Entrepreneur Celebrity Socialite" May you follow your dreams!  It was a pleasure meeting you.  Devohn, asked me if I had a Blog,  and I said yes Goddess of Transformation, and you are one as well.  He smiled.  We continued on our ways as though we had known each other for sometime.  Talking about fashion, people watching.  And how we came to be in NYC.  The passions that drive us,  and the dreams we make happen.  

Gatsby - Elizabeth Devlin - Ladybug 7"EP

Elizabeth played for us at one of the KGB JAM sessions last year. She is an artist that is constantly evolving and I am enamored by all she does. Blessing to you Little Miss Devlin! You are brilliant!

Love Quote

One of the oldest human needs is having someone to wonder where you are when you don't come home at night.
~ Margaret Mead
On cold day like today I wish I could crawl into a warm bed placing my cold hands and feet around you.....   but it Must be true, for my blanket tells no lies. Y es mejor sola que mal acompañada.  Stay warm NYers
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The backhander

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Love Quote

Love is the true means by which the world is enjoyed: our love to others, and others' love to us.
~ Thomas Traherne

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Last months GO magazine had this image of me for there tattoo contest.  Just want to inform you,  that my tattoos have been done at Rising Dragon & North Star, both located in Manhattan.  I highly recommend the artists at these locations.  For details contact me.

What did my shoes say today?

Change me!!!!  Before it starts snowing.   Running back home from modelling to put on my boots, and off to enjoy an evening of tango. Silent passion, empowering steps every song a reminder we love, we feel, we hurt, we SURVIVE & LOVE AGAIN someday...

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fully committed

this year I am fully commited, to myself.... it's so easy to fall in love to quickly (for the sake of love itself) I am in LOVE with me, I love me, and though it sounds cliche these words were very hard to say at first. Today I made a choice. All or Nothing! in every aspect of my life, my art, my acting, my health. My new friend and mentor GARY SWANSON, is strongly saying FULLY COMMIT! I have been hearing this voice in my head, daily when I lay in bed and trust me it is hard (it was hard) for me to get up in the mornings, I would find any excuse to lay there and feel like a Princess, or at least what I perceived to be a princess... In my dreams I had nothing to do and enjoyed that. But in reality I did not enjoy having nothing to do. The less I did the sadder I became. Today I wake up and say WHAT DO I NEED TO DO? HOW DO I ACCOMPLISH THIS? Gary mentioned how habit forming it is to accept a little bit of self betrayal.... This stayed in my mind, it's kinda like the mañana mentality... well Today is the day that counts! Actions speak louder then words! I will not betray myself! I will do what I set out to accomplish. LIVE LOVE LAUGH!!!

Love Quote

Love makes of the wisest man a fool, and of the most foolish woman, a sage.
~ Moritz G. Saphir

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Love Quote

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
~ Mignon McLaughlin

I grew up under the most beautiful example of this!  To this day my parents continue to keep there love alive in new ways.
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Notions of Identity

I question gender & race with my Goddess of Transformation. Reclaiming the image of blackness as an emblem of power. A GODDESS has no Nationality & Black is all colors together. Silence and fear are in your eyes when I come walking down the street. Breath Breath Breath I search for inner growth. You judge and punish me before I begin... when all I have is praise, power, and patience. In my last performance with NYSAT New York street advertising take over, I was not able to perform my number because of a man filled with fear and anger opposing me, and preventing me form reaching my canvas. This is all on video. Which brings me to the reason for this blog today. This was all filmed on a (high8) I do not have access to making this digital so I can edit and upload it. If any of my friends or readers have advise for me, please leave me a comment. The sooner I get this digitized the more progress we make.

Love Quote

Love is something eternal; the aspect may change, but not the essence.
~ Vincent van Gogh

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Love Quote

I have loved to the point of madness.  That which is called madness is the only sensible way to love.
~ F. Sagan

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Love Quote

If you love someone, let them go.  If they return to you, it was meant to be.  If they don't, their love was never yours to begin with.
~ Author unknown

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What do my shoes say today?

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Anti Valentine's

ready for my first small anti Valentine's dinner party

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Ready for summer

Let's remember the heat and look forward to the adventures of; Un
Verano en Nueva York!!!

LA LA LAND

My trip to LA LA LAND was beautiful! With the company of the lovely Noelle, I was able to take back that joy I had miss-placed, when did I put it in LA? Sometime we have to step away from a situation to see the reality of what was and what now is. Life's perspective. I can be on my own, I can see the moon from my window at night and enjoy the peace of an empty home. Vast blank canvas, where my thoughts roam free. My new hopes can become reality. This is the year of self, how interesting, so close to a union, and now peacefully choosing to be alone. LOVE is a constant struggle. I heard today "Love is a war term" I found this to be so true, after we meet we do the courtship dance just like all other animals peacock-ing our attributes, once we've chosen a mate (this is for male and female alike) then our ego comes back into our reality, now the relationship has the real test, the test of time. True Love, True Friends, True Companions... The few and far between. Yet it does exist.

Love Quote

Love is friendship set on fire.
~ Jeremy Taylor

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Love Quote

Justice is the loveliest and health is the best, but the sweetest to obtain is the heart's desire.
~ Aristotle

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Love Quote

A woman's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.
~ Jane Austen

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Daily LaunchTip for January 18, 2010 | Starting a Business and Growing your Company, Ladies Who Launch

Daily LaunchTip for January 18, 2010 | Starting a Business and Growing your Company, Ladies Who Launch

What do my shoes say today

Sacrificial Ram

"Sacrifice your heart" said the ram and you'll never feel that loss again.

breathing

I took a deep breath this morning at 1:39 pm looked out my window to find the sun shining and no breakfast to make. My roomie and I laughed at the ridiculous exit of Popeye. speak your mind and choose your words! I have no time for disrespectful nonsense! if your in my presence, there is a reason. respect that or get the &*&#@ out!!!

La Florida de Lea

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What do my shoes say today...

I'd like to go home but baby it's cold outside....

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2010

For all the troubles and all the pleasure I Love being Alive!!!!  Thank you Universe xoxo

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The serpentine tamer... count down to 2010

Spending the afternoon preparing for NEW YEARS

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What don't shoes say about me today

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Let go of that bitter Apple

So many different points of view, I we all know I have been feeling the disappointment of love lost.... That bitter sweet taste of losing something that was wonderful, and yet is over!!!! I wish to keep the good memories alive, for there are so many, but If I only think of the good then I latch on to this illusion of what I LOVE... that no longer is. so ..... and if I focus on the bad that ended the relationship then I become angry and full of hatred for being in this situation that has no logic... how tragic.

so love the past and become delusional or hate the past and become jaded... wow... the in between stages of life are always the hardest, because once enough time passes, everything fades, like my teens they have begun to fade. Wow I would enjoy a re-encounter with my school girl uniform just about now...

Inventory of the past 365 days

All Positive Accomplishmentt:

Being more honest with myself

Olive Tree

Goddess Of Transformation

Malena

Burlesque

The Box

Slipper Room

Purgatorio

ISSA - not completed

Less Debt

Tango

KGB Jam

Lexington Kentucky is home

Calypso Rose

Google phone

Live Love Laugh

Spending time with the whole family

Finding a new Apartment w Monica

Knitting

Less Positive

*** ***

Baby maker ...

Go to more castings

Need new Head shots

Learn new monologues

Go to more classes

Dance More

dance more dance more

Use Flip camera

Organize phone & comp. to function in life better

Look inside about *** ***

Visit Colombia

Collect images of art work I have participated in

Wish List :

Argentina

Colombia

Bali

Australia

Rome

Martial arts Film

Find a work out ritual that's fit for me

Ruminate More

Steady work routine

Patience

simplify my personal belongings

Studio space

Explore New Music

This year I look forward to staying Focused, on track with my goals, hopes, and dreams

The walk home, the rain failing lightly on the dirty snow of NYC, I am walking down Houston my Mission to return to Brooklyn with trees. The holidays threw me for a loop. I must complete my lists before New Years... As I walk the voices begin to rise. *** *** is dead, can you believe it *** *** is dead. I get to rest tonight. Time to thank for all my accomplishments. How did *** *** die, it was an attack of the heart, so painful to watch I tell you. But now we must move on. You see there seems to be a corporation in my head, ME, MYSELF & I. That night on my way home they needed to vent. The plan was, to train at work. Starting at 7 pm, but it was a slow day and knowing that the rest of the week is going to be busy, they offered me the evening off. So as I walk toward the L train, taking the longest possible route to 1st and 14th. As I reach 1st ave I get a call... Sure come by. I enter an old apt with a tub in the kitchen. Can you believe this I have been living in NYC for 12 years and this is the first time I am in an apartment with a full vintage tub in the kitchen, I can't get past the visual, I just want to sit in there and the let the shower run over me while watching you make coffee.... wow I got to go. So now WE are walking again. I enjoy being alone in the city tonight. There are few people out, including traffic. walking down to canal street. A place I normally would avoid in the day. It's quiet the red lights glisten in the rain. German tourists are talking behind me. The girl has beautiful full lips no lipstick but the are red from the cold.

I love my long black Jacket I can continue to zig zag through the city in the rain, Masotta I am thinking of walking in the rain for hours. I get on the train . Take out my google phone as I wait begin to play games. I board the train with out looking but sure I am facing the right side, how many time have I taken this train... When we get to the next station I jump out and question my instinct only to board the next train swiftly as though I am in an Indiana Jones movie. I check and NOW I AM ON THE WRONG TRAIN. Giggling to myself I realize I don't want to go home yet. I get out an walk again in the rain with the lights and the quiet solace of the city. I HEART NY. Feeling alive in a simple walk.

Seven Challenges for Sustainability in 2010

Fire Play

Spent the afternoon with a great friend and performer (I Like You), I found a new thrilling fear, to conquer.... Fire play. I enjoy the feel of this against my skin, but my heart beats so fast, and I must take a moment and slow down!!! After a great work out, and no more hair on my arms. It's time for work.

druken Santas

walking cross town on 4th St. after an amazing workout with some fire play, I became confused by the amount of Santa costumes I was seeing, disturbing drunken. My inner child wants to puke! I am going to enforce a no Santa rule tonight at work.

Ten pounds project

I read all these blogs about losing weight staying thin, what about the girls who need to gain weight? who have a healthy active lifestyle, but somehow got to thin. Last night at the NYAA art opening, I was talking with Panning, Nicole, & Elizabeth all three talking about losing weight they look at me and say you don't have that problem... no my problem is I don't gain it!!!! so my goal 10 pounds and the only way I will know is how my legs and ass fit into my jeans. Since I have a phobia of scales (thanks to r.m...)

I want to lie on my back with my legs in the air, squeezing to fit into my favorite jeans beat up black with patches everywhere. I want to feel that my legs can barely be contained.

Make

Make: Online : Open source hardware 2009 - The definitive guide to open source hardware projects in 2009

LWL

Make: Online : Open source hardware 2009 - The definitive guide to open source hardware projects in 2009

Make: Online : Open source hardware 2009 - The definitive guide to open source hardware projects in 2009

dumbo's feather

simple little things mean so much. recently I was showered with gifts. everyone loves to be cared about. but most gifts especially in this seasons when people feel obliged to give... mean nothing.
I met a stranger, who gave me a bracelet simple wooden beads, old, worn in, faded, said they brought protection. I don't take them off, if you don't see them on my wrist they are on my ankle under a big flowing dress, or in my hair as I model for artists. but mostly they are on my right wrist, on my left wrist Live, Love, Laugh. Words to live by, another reminder another great gift.
my wrists make me feel like WONDER WOMAN.

lol

why do people write lol? really arecyou laughing or nervous you might be taken serious?

La Princessa Mandarina tiene un nuevo Tattoo... Estoy feliz, Live, Love, Laugh. Porque la vida nos da palo!

Hola Universo que es lo que me tratas de decir? Te estoy escuchando....

Amanecer y ver la realidad, como piensas que esas brutalidades de comportamiento me gustan como mujer.

Recently it has come to my attention that I fall into so many (WRONG) categories. I am sitting at the bar last night when this man who looked like he was wearing a wig, and has laid out in the sun until his skin was orange, starts talking to me.... I take a moment stand, turn my chair to make sure (in what I consider a polite manner) I give him my back. My lack of interest in his solo bragging conversation labels me Jewish or a Dyke... I turned in awe, and thought to myself hmmmm, it's better then being asked if I am a gender bender from Singapore. I posted the following comment on Facebook and this is what I got.

Are you Jewish or a dyke? No I am Colombian

Natsku Vega

LOL! Perfect....

Heather Ackerman Humphries

LOL. Please come visit me w/ Monie. I am laid up after surgery. Would love to see your pretty face.

Gayatri Martin

labels, gender, are you human? i did a cool gender exercise at my tantra workshop this past week-end ... lists of gender attributes were cool i think u r cool

Jeff Stache

It's a classic question! Do you thnk it would work if I tried it as a pick up line?

Jeff Stache

Gender attribute are important ot humans, otherwise we'd be squids. Just importnat not to be trapped by them but use them to our best advantage.

Matthew P. Gordon

OMG did someone actually ask you that? You're kidding...

Jeff Stache

Was it a man or woman wsho asked you? Im mt imagination I'm seeing either guy with slick hair, a wifebeater shirt and a big gold chain, or... a woman with slick hair, a wifebeater shirt and a big gold chain.

telephone access

another quicker connection to the www. moment to moment....

Forced Transformation

I know what all you dirty minded little friends of mine are thinking, but no.... this is not a TRANY story. It's life, my life. This past month without notice everything has changed again. My sadness is slowly drifting away, my hope has begun to shift into acceptance. My questions remain ... UNANSWERED

I am strong

I am able

I am mine

Families come together in times of need, when your heart aches you find solace in the silent support of your loved ones. My Father countless times amazes me! Strong silent sensitive Man. This morning I received a phone call to wish me a lovely day, to say I love you! I don't understand why your art form uses your body, or why you perform in such ways, but I LOVE YOU!

I answered the phone nervous wondering what else in my life can be judged.... I am honest and open, but I no longer will take part in being morally challenged, because I am a woman who understands her sexuality, I am a woman who is not afraid to be vulnerable, to be exposed, to feel, and to live!

With my eyes open, my feet firmly on the ground I will move forward.