Sunday, October 30, 2011
Friday, October 28, 2011
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Eye of the beholder
Eye of the beholder
My friendly stalker, everyone has a friendly stalker in life... My first friendly stalker happened when I was 12, some referred to him as my aunts husband uncle Viejo. When I told my mother about this situation she was so angry she stopped calling him by his nick name and would address him by his full legal name, the way parents do to children when they misbehave... I never understood how this meant she had my back. He died violently years later. I was confused by the joy I felt, I called my mom and asked her if it was ok for me to congratulate my aunt.
I moved in with my second friendly stalker when I moved to NYC 15 years ago. I was 20 and he was 56 year genius millionaire w/ many control issues. I was kept like a bird in a golden cage. Birds in cages don't fly. I once over heard my father say I really messed up that relationship bc I would be set up for life by now. My mother now refers to him as the predator, I wonder why she never said that before? Then again there is always their fear of me being a lesbian so old and rich is better than tits & pussy. If I was still dating him he would be turning 71 this year.
I have had a few more friendly stalkers like the street vendor in Times Square who gave me Diamond earrings on Easter. He disappeared one day without notice? & the protective dyke that would walk me to and from the train when I lived in Fort Green, Brooklyn next to the projects. Or my bow tie wearing cross dresser who kept me sane as I explored the world of S&M. Or the pycho 3rd generation clown, who trained me to do acrobatics. Friendly stalkers come in all shapes and sizes some with good intentions some not so great. The older I get the better quality of human my friendly stalkers are becoming.
My newest friendly stalker confuses me sometimes I think he is like a guardian Angel other times I fantasize that he is from the Russian mob. Not so hard to imagine when you grow up in Colombia during the 80's & 90's.
Yesterday my friendly stalker & I went on a bike ride on the west side. We got to the pier where he pointed out that easily he could throw me into the Hudson... I said well that's not a far swim. Then he told me that we must change the way that I dress on a daily basis, for if I want to make it as a movie star I must dress as if I was going to be photographed all time... My friendly stalker likes to photograph me. I love being photographed. His advise is right! I have been slacking on the presentation of self side, and dressing up makes life so much more fun. Clothing is like armor for social survival. So today I am dressed like an 18th century Russian film star. He would be proud. I am very happy with our relationship... He encourages me to write about our stories, I hope he's not really in the mob... But then again I love role-play!
Live Love Laugh Liliana sent from my iPad
My friendly stalker, everyone has a friendly stalker in life... My first friendly stalker happened when I was 12, some referred to him as my aunts husband uncle Viejo. When I told my mother about this situation she was so angry she stopped calling him by his nick name and would address him by his full legal name, the way parents do to children when they misbehave... I never understood how this meant she had my back. He died violently years later. I was confused by the joy I felt, I called my mom and asked her if it was ok for me to congratulate my aunt.
I moved in with my second friendly stalker when I moved to NYC 15 years ago. I was 20 and he was 56 year genius millionaire w/ many control issues. I was kept like a bird in a golden cage. Birds in cages don't fly. I once over heard my father say I really messed up that relationship bc I would be set up for life by now. My mother now refers to him as the predator, I wonder why she never said that before? Then again there is always their fear of me being a lesbian so old and rich is better than tits & pussy. If I was still dating him he would be turning 71 this year.
I have had a few more friendly stalkers like the street vendor in Times Square who gave me Diamond earrings on Easter. He disappeared one day without notice? & the protective dyke that would walk me to and from the train when I lived in Fort Green, Brooklyn next to the projects. Or my bow tie wearing cross dresser who kept me sane as I explored the world of S&M. Or the pycho 3rd generation clown, who trained me to do acrobatics. Friendly stalkers come in all shapes and sizes some with good intentions some not so great. The older I get the better quality of human my friendly stalkers are becoming.
My newest friendly stalker confuses me sometimes I think he is like a guardian Angel other times I fantasize that he is from the Russian mob. Not so hard to imagine when you grow up in Colombia during the 80's & 90's.
Yesterday my friendly stalker & I went on a bike ride on the west side. We got to the pier where he pointed out that easily he could throw me into the Hudson... I said well that's not a far swim. Then he told me that we must change the way that I dress on a daily basis, for if I want to make it as a movie star I must dress as if I was going to be photographed all time... My friendly stalker likes to photograph me. I love being photographed. His advise is right! I have been slacking on the presentation of self side, and dressing up makes life so much more fun. Clothing is like armor for social survival. So today I am dressed like an 18th century Russian film star. He would be proud. I am very happy with our relationship... He encourages me to write about our stories, I hope he's not really in the mob... But then again I love role-play!
Live Love Laugh Liliana sent from my iPad
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Monday, October 24, 2011
small Healing
Today I was modelling for artist Margaret Bowland, I always feel great inspiration from her, she is a woman with an iron fist in a Velvet Glove. She said to us "Life is difficult, Love is easy" somehow this clicked in my brain and healed a little piece of my heart. Since I fled from my last relationship I have dated 2 of the wrong men. Sabotage is like a super power. I think I did this to punish myself for leaving a man that I loved so much! (but that did not believe in me as an artist) I know that for the type of woman that I am and the example I have from my parents, I had to flee...
What type of woman am I? LOL well that is ever evolving, some like to call me a princessa caprinsnica (Spanish and Russian terminology) translation Fickle Princess. All I know is that the past two years I have thrown myself into performing nonstop, found that comedy can help me with my figure, and 3rd generation clowns are dangerous humans. Oh... and that when I am angry I unleash my crazy. Tonight when I heard Margaret say this, I felt hope.
What type of woman am I? LOL well that is ever evolving, some like to call me a princessa caprinsnica (Spanish and Russian terminology) translation Fickle Princess. All I know is that the past two years I have thrown myself into performing nonstop, found that comedy can help me with my figure, and 3rd generation clowns are dangerous humans. Oh... and that when I am angry I unleash my crazy. Tonight when I heard Margaret say this, I felt hope.
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Thursday, October 20, 2011
My cat loves me...
Live Love Laugh Liliana
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Fwd: this is good
Beautiful! Thank you my Friend for sharing
Farewell Letter by Gabriel Garcia Marquez
If for a while God forgot that I'm a puppet and gave me a piece of life, probably I wouldn't say everything that I think, but definitivelly I would think everything that I say. I would give more value to things not because of what they cost but because of what they mean.I would sleep less and dream more. I understand that for each minute that we close our eyes, we lose sixty seconds of light. I would walk when the others stopped, I would wake up when the others slept, I would listen when the others spoke, and how much I would enjoy a chocolate ice-cream!If God gave me a piece of life I would dress simply, I would lie on the sun, "showing" not only my body but my soul. My God, if I had a heart, I would write my hate on the ice and I would wait for the sun to rise.My God, if I had a piece of life... I won't let a single day pass without saying people I love how much I love them. I would convince every single women and men that they are my favourites and I would live in love with loveI would prove people how wrong they are to think that they stop falling in love when they get older, without knowing that they get older when they stop falling in love! To a kid... I would give him wings, but I let him alone to learn how to fly. To the elder I would teach them that death does not arrive with being old but with forgetting.There are so many things I have learned from you, people... I have learned that everybody wants to live in the pick of the mountain without knowing that the true happiness lays in the way "you get into it". I have learned that when a new born grasp his father's fist for the first time, he caught him forever.I have learned that a man has only the right to look down to another when he has to help him to stand up. There are so many things I have been able to learn from you, but actually they won't be that worth, because when they keep me into this suitcase, unhappily I will be dying.
Always say what you feel and do what you think.If I knew today as the last time I'm gonn see you sleep, I would hug you so strong and I would pray the lord to be able to be the guardian of your soul. If I knew this is the last time I'm gonna see you going out through that door, I would give you a hug, a kiss and I would call you again to give you more. If I knew this was the last time I am gonna hear your voice, I would record each one of your words to be able to hear them forever. If I knew these were the last moments I see you I would tell you "I love you" and I wouldn't assume, stupidly, that you already know it.There is always a tomorrow and life gives us the opportunity to do things right, but in case I'm wrong and today is the only thing we have left, I would like to tell you how much I love you, and that I'm never going to forget you.Nobody has for sure a tomorrow, young or old. Today can be the last time you see the ones you love. So... don't wait more, do it today, because if tomorrow never comes, you will for sure regret the day you didn't take time for a smile, a hug, a kiss, and that you were so occupied to give them their last wish. Keep the ones you love near you, tell them in their ear how much you need them. Love them and trate them good. Take time to tell them "I'm sorry", "forgive me", "please", "thank you", and all the love words you know.Nobody will remember you for your secret thoughts. Ask God for the strength and the wisdom to express them. Show your friend how important they are for you.
Monday, October 17, 2011
The date: Thursday, October 20th
The time: 7pm
The place: The lounge at Belleville, corner of 5th Street and 5th Avenue, Brooklyn
The happenings: Tableau cast & crew reunion gathering, film screening of the performance edit (you haven't really seen it until you've seen it on a nice big projector screen!), distribution of limited edition prints from September 2010, January 2011, and May 2011
-- The time: 7pm
The place: The lounge at Belleville, corner of 5th Street and 5th Avenue, Brooklyn
The happenings: Tableau cast & crew reunion gathering, film screening of the performance edit (you haven't really seen it until you've seen it on a nice big projector screen!), distribution of limited edition prints from September 2010, January 2011, and May 2011
Liliana Velásquez
LIVE LOVE LAUGH
http://goddessoftransformation.blogspot.com
http://www.NYCastings.com/LilianaVelasquez
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Friday, October 14, 2011
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Monday, October 10, 2011
In my way
On my way to model for a painter I sit down waiting for the train and see the cutest shoes ever!
Live Love Laugh Liliana
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Sunday, October 2, 2011
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